Simple outrage would be the easy (and potentially right) response to the crazy situation in which Rep. Anthony Weiner finds himself embroiled. But, it’s more pain and sadness I feel today. While Weiner may yet have to resign his congressional seat, I wonder what the real cost is to the rest of us, what relationship we want with our leaders, and what we will do.

I’m in Champaign-Urbana, Illinois, today to conduct the second focus group of a series to be held across the nation with a cross-section of Americans on the state of politics and public life. This year marks the 20th anniversary of our landmark study, Citizens and Politics: A View from Main Street, which we’re updating, again in conjunction with the Kettering Foundation. In Detroit last week, where I held the first conversation, people could not name a single “leader” they trust.

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In our hopes to hope again, the result is that we jump from one political leader to another, in search for Mr. or Ms. Right, while political leaders become cartoon-like figures, contorting themselves to fit different political niches.

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Weiner’s actions may only deepen the negative, damning narrative Americans have about their leaders. Again and again I hear people say that political leaders are crooks, self-aggrandizing, concerned only with their own personal and partisan interests.

Meantime, our political leaders hold themselves up to be the final arbiters of truth and morality, all-knowing, even unblemished heroes. They seek our adoration and absolute approval.

To me, both approaches are sorely wanting. For in this construct there is little room for a real or authentic relationship. Give-and-take is replaced by bluster and condemnation. Finger-pointing and blame becomes the norm. Understanding is victim to shallowness. The quick fix is the coin of the realm.

In our hopes to hope again, the result is that we jump from one political leader to another, in search for Mr. or Ms. Right, while political leaders become cartoon-like figures, contorting themselves to fit different political niches. The upshot is that we lose sight of reality, people’s real needs and aspirations, and what it takes to create progress together. We forfeit the possibility to get good things done. And in this ugly process too often we give up on decent, honorable leaders.

As I watched Weiner’s press conference yesterday while in Chicago’s O’Hare airport, I couldn’t help but think about how fraught with frailties our lives are and how things so quickly can fall apart. In recent months, we’ve witnessed such human frailties as the result of natural disasters in Japan, Alabama, and Joplin, MO, among others.

And yet, such frailties are the result more times than not of our own making, as is the case with Weiner. He was forced in public to reveal what may have been his deepest, darkest private secret. Who knows the personal demons that caused Weiner to go down this path – he will need to figure that out.

But this latest episode causes me to wish that we would not place our leaders on pedestals, nor ask them to be super-human. In return, leaders would act with greater humility, and understand they are neither omnipotent nor omnipresent. They are human, frailties and all.

I’m not suggesting that you or I simply forgive Weiner’s frailties; he will have to work out his personal and public future, and each of us will come to our own conclusion about his actions. But, here’s the kicker: so long as we remain on the current path, we are destined to encounter even more anger and frustration – and sadness.

Simply throwing up our hands in disgust about Weiner will not enable our communities and the country to move ahead; nor will looking for the perfect leader. There are good people all around us; let’s find them and lend them our support.

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A dynamic public speaker, Rich Harwood is a frequent keynote for foundations and national organizations. He is an expert contributor on national and syndicated media outlets including MSNBC, NPR, The Christian Science Monitor, CNN’s Inside Politics, The NewsHour with Jim Lehrer, Special Report with Brit Hume, C-SPAN, and many others. He is also the author of Hope Unraveled: The people’s retreat and our way back (2005), Make Hope Real: How we can accelerate change for the public good (2008) and numerous studies, articles and essays chronicling vital issues of our time. His most recent written work, Why We’re Here: The Powerful Impact of Public Broadcasters When They Turn Outward, is being published and distributed in Spring 2011. You can follow him on twitter @RichHarwood and facebook.com/richharwood.

You can read Rich’s posts every Tuesday on State of the Re:Union’s website.

At the core of many of my conversations with individuals and groups lately, stands a basic question of “belief.” Will we believe that we as individuals, and together, have the ability to affect change? Wavering on this question leaves us wondering whether we can step forward and truly make a difference. Here are three ways to restore and deepen your own sense of belief in these politically toxic and divisive times.

The importance of this topic was only reinforced for me a few weeks ago when I was in Orlando serving as the opening keynote speaker for the United Way Worldwide annual Staff Leaders Conference. During my time there, I heard many people talk about their own feelings of inadequacy in creating change in their communities, within their organization, and within themselves. I viewed these individuals as being brave, not weak – brave enough to voice what so many of us feel but often are unwilling to say ourselves.

The restoration of belief in ourselves and in one another is pivotal to all our efforts to make a difference in communities. Without such belief, we may hold back from doing what we know is required to bring about change; we may choose not to reach out and forge key relationships with others; we may step back just when we need to step forward.

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At issue is our sense of possibility. In question is how to build up our confidence. Here are three steps you can take to deepen your own sense of belief and to engage others:

• We must stand up and grab hold of emerging stories of self-trust and hope. It is easy to go around and tell negative stories about how bad things have become, to continually reinforce an ingrained, negative narrative. Instead, we must search for and tell stories of self-trust and hope – those stories that help us see how change did come about, how people forged ahead even amid falling down, and how people came together to make a difference.

• We must be courageous enough to ask a basic question to others: “What story do you have?” and then once someone has told it, to ask, “What story are you going to tell, now?” I urge you to try this, because in taking this step you will experience its power and you will begin to see the seeds of change.

• We must be willing to actively support others who tell stories of self-trust and hope. That is, we must publicly stand by those who tell such a story as opposed to looking down or away or to someone else. People must know that they are not standing alone – that we are with them.

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The key challenge here rests within each of us. It is whether we will stand up and declare our intentions. Whether we believe in ourselves enough to move forward? Whether we choose to believe in the goodness and motivations of other people? Whether we believe that individuals and communities can change?

There is no magic solution to restoring people’s belief – there is no public relations campaign, “best practice,” or new fad one can adopt to do this trick. Nor can we rely on mere “feel good” stories that provide empty promises and ring hollow. Instead, what we need, what we require already exists within us. We must tap and tell genuine stories of self-trust and hope. Start with small steps and you will see the power you hold to deepen your own sense of belief in your individual and our collective ability to create change and make a difference.

It’s possible.

For more on this topic, you may want to take a look at a speech I gave some years ago, entitled: Thought My Soul Would Rise and Fly: Creating a New Public Story.

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A dynamic public speaker, Rich Harwood is a frequent keynote for foundations and national organizations. He is an expert contributor on national and syndicated media outlets including MSNBC, NPR, The Christian Science Monitor, CNN’s Inside Politics, The NewsHour with Jim Lehrer, Special Report with Brit Hume, C-SPAN, and many others. He is also the author of Hope Unraveled: The people’s retreat and our way back (2005), Make Hope Real: How we can accelerate change for the public good (2008) and numerous studies, articles and essays chronicling vital issues of our time. His most recent written work, Why We’re Here: The Powerful Impact of Public Broadcasters When They Turn Outward, is being published and distributed in Spring 2011. You can follow him on twitter @RichHarwood and facebook.com/richharwood.

You can read Rich’s posts every Tuesday on State of the Re:Union’s website.